- KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
- MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!
"Not enough for me? You are everything."
I LOVE THEM AND I DON’T EVEN WATCH THE OFFICE
"College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”"
"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"
"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"
"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"
"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."
"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"
"Hit me, please *begs*"